song + dance

Taking the Show on the Road

Just got back from a long holiday weekend in the Black Hills of South Dakota. 

Have you been? If not, it's worth the trip. 

There is nothing like the perfume of sweet clover as dusk ushers in a summer night. 

I grew up there. First in the artsy town of Deadwood, where Wild Bill Hickcock and 

Calamity Jane once lived. And later in Belle Fourche, home to a major rodeo, cowboys,

and some really cool people.  

We grilled cheeseburgers and brats with my dad and then watched the fireworks

from the deck of his cabin. With my mom and sisters, we savored a slice of Americana 

as we watched the Black Hills Roundup Rodeo *and* the traditional 4th of July parade, 

with beauty queens, rodeo queens, fire trucks, class reunion floats, and politicians. 

Here's Miss Rodeo South Dakota. I love Queens! 

 

Here's a shot of my niece CJ and MJ her BFF, walking to the parade. Yes. 

They are both wearing cowgirl boots, wranglers, and straw hats, 

compliments of their Aunt Mimi (everyone needs an Aunt Mimi!).

CJ & MJ: BFFs

Aunt Mimi

My mom and sister (Aunt Mimi) accompanied us to Devil's Tower, Wyoming, a sacred place to the 

Plains Indian tribes (and me too). I love to go bouldering on the rocks beneath the tower. 

See? There I am, waving to you!

And here, in this tiny, tiny shot, are Tom and me, in Aladdin, Wyoming. 

It's a great little town, popular with motorcycle riders and other tourists. 

If you go, be sure to purchase an Aladdin t-shirt. They have some good ones!

And then I did something that I have dreamed about for a really long time. 

I brought my What Do You Really, Really Want? Workshop to the Black Hills. 

And boy, did we do some great work. 

The workshop itself is a powerful way to uncover your deepest dreams and 

blast though that which limits you. It was an exceptional experience 

to guide the participants through the process of releasing the stuff that doesn't serve you, 

and embracing what they really, really wanted. More to come on that...

Love, Robyn

**Photos are by Tom Kirsch and Jennifer McKay

Heartbeat Radio + Robyn

Hi Everyone,

Be sure to listen to my latest conversation with Julie Cusmariu on Heartbeat Radio: Creativity Under Fire.

Love + Creative Thoughts,

Robyn

Tune into Heartbeat Radio + Free downloads on iTunes

Hi everyone,

In a little over an hour, I'll be on the air with Julie Cusmariu on Heartbeat Radio. We're going to be talking about Creativity under Fire, and I'll give listeners a few tips that can help unblock creativity.

On a related note, I've attached a link to iTunes, where you can download (for free!) several of my meditations. Mindfulness Practices with Robyn McKay

Enjoy and have a happy day!

Love,

Robyn

Creativity Under Fire: What to do when you must create, but just can't

Now more than ever, creative people are being called upon to re-style, re-invent, and in some cases, re-construct our world. A little pressure fuels creativity. But an overload of stress, depression, and anxiety blocks the creative process. So, what do you do when you must create, but you just can’t?

Join me this Wednesday, June 10th as I talk with Julie Cusmariu on Heartbeat Radio as I talk about the barriers to creativity, and provide you with tips for unblocking and heightening your own creativity.

Here's my first tip: Meditate. Every day.

Some of you (who am I kidding?) most of you think that you can't meditate because you can't make your mind stop thinking. I've got news for you: You don't have to stop thinking in order to meditate! In fact, asking you to stop thinking is akin to asking your nose to stop smelling or your eyes to stop seeing.

You don't have to stop thinking. 

Got it?

But you don't always have to pay attention to your thoughts. In fact, spending about 10 minutes a day focusing on your breath instead of on your thoughts reaps major benefits, including less anxiety and less depression (both conditions that block creativity).

Try it! To make it easy,  I've added a FREE 7-minute mindfulness of the breath meditation, right over there                                                           >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Download it to your iPod or listen on my blog. Either way, enjoy!

Be sure to tune in on Wednesday, where I'll give you more tips for reconnecting to your creativity.

love,

Robyn

Creativity Cure #1

During my lunch break at a local smoothie store, I met a 3-year-old girl who was on an outing with her dad. They had just ordered, and she contentedly colored on a coloring book as they waited for their treats. 

Her blonde hair was held back with sparkley barrettes and her equally sparkley sunglasses that had slipped down to the tip of her nose. While we waited, she chattered happily about her color choices and wondered aloud was I getting a smoothie, too? Her dad joined us, and I politely let him know that we were visiting about her art work, and then wandered away to the nearby book section. As I browsed, I heard her ask, “Dad, do you want to color too?” His was a quick, dad-like reply, “no, I’d rather watch you.” And then almost as an afterthought, he commanded, “be sure to color in the lines.” 

I turned from the bookshelves and raised my eyebrows as we made eye contact over his daughter’s head. 

“No.” 

I responded in defense of his daughter’s style, she was three years old, after all. He looked surprised. He was speechless. Most likely, he probably wished that I would mind my own business. 

“No.” I said again firmly, hoping that my single word response would carry volumes. 

The truth is that I didn’t have any other words to use just then. It wasn’t the time or the place to introduce myself or to tell him that his command could turn into a life time of his daughter’s attempts at perfectionism, a sure-fire cure for creativity. 

At that moment, my wish was that the little girl would always color outside the lines. I hoped that her dad would celebrate her uniqueness, and I wanted him to give her permission to break the rules of coloring. That way, even if she doesn’t change the big, wide world with her out-of-the-lines coloring style, at least she’ll have a chance to be her natural-born creative self. 

Want to cure creativity? Tell your 3-year-old to color inside the lines. 

That’s a beginning, anyway.  

Be creative. 

Love, Robyn

Thinking of Thoughts

I've been thinking a lot about thoughts lately. 

Maybe it's because I'm teaching Mindfulness-based Cognitive Therapy for Depression at Arizona State University, where I work as a staff psychologist. Since it's cognitive therapy, we do a lot of talking about thoughts, about how positive ones, negative ones, and even neutral ones affect the body and the spirit. 

Here's what I know: 

All thoughts are sticky. One thought attracts another and another, and so on until you have a snowball of related thoughts. What happens next is interesting: your emotions get involved. For example, one happy thought + another + another brings about a positive emotion. The same kind of thing holds for sad thoughts or angry thoughts or whatever. Your emotions respond to what you think about. What you think about responds to how you feel. Both your thoughts and your emotions are intimately connected with how the body feels. 

For instance, if you're feeling happy, your thoughts are moving in a positive "I can do it" direction. In turn, your body probably feels pretty good. But when you're feeling sad, your thoughts are more likely to be distorted. The "might as well go eat worms" kind of thoughts that we all think from time to time become prominent in your experience. Your body follows, and pretty soon the shadow of depression rises and begins to overtake you.

Your thoughts are not facts. Yet, most of us unconsciously believe: "if I think a thought, it must be true!"

The truth is that we don't even know where thoughts come from. Thoughts are just mental events that occur whether we ask for them or not. Most of the time, we're so out of control of our thoughts that we're not even aware of what we are thinking, much less about the effect that our thoughts are having on our experience in the world. 

Most people that I work with tell me that they can't meditate because "I can't make my mind stop thinking" or "I can't shut off my brain." Here's some new information: Just as the nose smells and ears hear and the eyes see, the mind thinks. That's what it does.

I would never ask you to stop thinking. But you don't always have to pay attention to your thoughts (not all the time, anyway). My mentor Lynn Rossy at the University of Missouri says, "most of the time, our thoughts lead us around by the rings in our noses." Put another way, we act as if we have no control of what we're thinking. 

When you feel out of control, guess what happens? The double whammy of anxiety and depression comes knocking. Future-directed, out-of-control, worried thoughts quickly move the body into a state of anxiety and panic. Past-oriented, ruminative thoughts are the precursor to depression. Either way, you're not in The Now. And as far as creativity and insight goes, The Now is where it's at. 

How do I get into The Now?

Mindfulness means paying attention on purpose, as openhearted and non-judgmentally as possible (Jon Kabat-Zinn). Formal meditation practices are a way of cultivating mindfulness in our lives. The formal practice of mindfulness meditation teaches that you are more than your thoughts. You can train your brain to stay focused in spite of what your mind is thinking about.

To get into the now, start meditating regularly. When you meditate,  you become aware of your thoughts - not all of them, but at least you begin to notice when (and what) you're thinking. When you keep practicing, you begin to develop the ability to watch your thoughts without getting sucked into the drama that they create in your head. 

You can start by focusing on your breath. Breathe in. Breathe out. And know when you're breathing in and when you're breathing out. Take 5 good breaths, 5 times/day. That's a good first step.

More to come...

Love + thoughts

Robyn

 

 

Breathe: The Mindful Experience (This Saturday April 18)

If you're in the Phoenix Area, come and see me at Hegel Yoga this weekend.

 

Feeling a bit overwhelmed, stressed or as if things are out of control?
Do you feel rushed, as if there was not a moment to spare?

If you answered yes to either of these questions, then please join us for this special workshop at Hegel Yoga in Tempe, AZ.

Breathe: The Mindful Experience
with Dr. Joel Hutchinson and Dr. Robyn McKay
from ASU Counseling Services

Presentation. Discussion. Experience. In this workshop participants will be introduced to a mindful living practices that can positively affect their life quality and lower their level of stress. Attendees will be led through a variety of exercises intended to teach them how to employ mindfulness strategies in their daily living.

To enroll, call: 480.478.2934 or click on the link: http://www.hegelyoga.com/workshops.html

 

Tickets are $20.

 

love + mindful presence,

Robyn

The In-between Space

Outside my window, I see the bright blue desert sky and the remnants of the wildflowers that bloomed in blue chaos just a week ago. It's springtime in Arizona, the world is alive with change: besides the flowers blooming and dying, and the hummingbirds migrating, people are preparing for graduations and job transitions. Transitions, however beautiful and exciting, also evoke fear and anxiety. 

There is a space in every moment - between breaths or between heartbeats - that when we pay attention, we find silence. You *know* that your next breath is coming. You *know* that your very next heartbeat is inevitable. And because you know, you don't worry. 

Why do we have such a hard time with other transitions, then? Are other transitions more important than the next breath or heartbeat that ensures that you continue to live?  

Over coffee yesterday, my friend Mike told me, "Sometimes you have to be willing to step out into nothing and trust that you will be caught by something." It reminded me of a scene in Indiana Jones' The Last Crusade, when Indy has to make a leap of faith into an abyss. When he steps out into the void, he finds foothold on an invisible bridge.

You can stand with your toes at the edge of the pool and refuse to jump. You can teeter on the edge of a trapeze platform and refuse to fly. 

You also can stand at the edge of your life, paralyzed by fear and anxiety because you can't see what's going to happen next. 

The challenge is to embrace that in-between space, to enjoy and even appreciate the not knowing what's going to happen next, to allow the anticipation to propel you further into your life, all the while trusting that there will be something -or someone- will catch you. With practice, you can experience the space in between your heartbeats and even in between your thoughts. 

Why not catch those in-between moments of your life - the moments between awake and asleep, between one job and another, between one thought and another? There is peace in the pauses that life provides: get in the gap and see if you can feel it. And then trust that the Next Thing is going to be there to catch you.

Love + peaceful in-between thoughts,

Robyn

 

A Musician + His Music

Last night, my fiance Tom and his band the Catfish Groove Farm launched their new CD, Requiem for a Dog. They played two shows at two different venues, and they were absolutely beautiful. I'm still riding the waves of energy that they created. 

Like many creative people, Tom is hybrid. He's a jazz guitarist, he's a master communicator, a talented psychotherapist and educator. He is also one of the most kind and loving people that I know. 

This afternoon, Tom found this quote by Joseph Campbell: "It is the function of art to carry us beyond speech to experience." 

Reflecting, Tom notes, "I've had the perception that music is entertainment. I need to remember that music is a way of healing, a way of helping people have a transcendental experience." 

To me, Tom is exploring the nature of being a Creative Hybrid: one who, in his own words is here to "heal people and to make music." I love that.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

One of Tom's work colleagues in attendance had never before seen Tom perform. When I talked with him, he just shook his head in amazement, as though he could not quite wrap his mind around the fact that the beautiful musician was also the person that he worked with everyday. 

Granted, working with creative people can be confusing, particularly when their major creative outlet is expressed somewhere outside the environment that you are used to seeing them in. Most creative people are at home in (or at least tolerant of) ambiguity and uncertainty. The rest of us struggle anxiously against both fields of consciousness. To feel better, our brains organize people and experiences into simple categories ("good", "bad", "right", "wrong"). Basically, we make judgments about our experiences and eliminate much of the complexity that life offers. For example, when we label a person as "a musician" or "a teacher", we can experience an immediate (if fleeting) relief. 

There is a danger in trying to categorize creative people: a single label cannot explain everything that the creative person is.  

We risk cutting off the potential for creative people to be so much more than just that One Thing that we see them do at work. To support the creative ones (and to become more creative ourselves), we open our arms wide enough to embrace the truth that creative people are hybrids - "Both This And That, and Much, Much More." 

Love + Happy + Musical thoughts

Robyn

 

The Gathering I: For Smart + Creative Souls. Like you.

Good morning everyone,

I'm writing from our home in Phoenix - the morning sun filters through the bedroom window, our cats Phoebe & Max are curled up on the bed with me. I hear Tom in the kitchen, making homey sounds that signal to me that the weekend is here. As the coffee is brewing, I am reflecting on the Gathering that we co-hosted last weekend. Just a week ago, we arrived at Saguaro Lake Ranch - a quaint resort situated on the Salt River, with views of the Four Peaks in eastern Phoenix - to meet the first people to say "yes" to the invitation to re-invent, re-energize, and re-affirm their mission and purpose. 

Last weekend, we answered two Big Questions: 

"What do I really, really want?" and "What holds me back?" 

Then we peeled back the layers of exhaustion and fear. We stripped away pessimism, guilt, and inertia. And what we discovered underneath was a genuine desire to reconnect with ourselves and our community; and to be "okay" with where we are right now.  We envisioned the future as one in which we use our abilities and strengths and gifts, a future balanced with work and play, a sense of community and love. In the end, each person left with an idea of What's Next. 

 

Tom says that he realized the importance of "being happy in life." As for me, I reconnected with my desire to play more, to laugh often, and to write and write and write. I also have a new name for myself: "Fire-Starter" And we both reaffirmed our desire to provide time & space for the Healers to Heal. 

In the words of one participant, it was a "wonderful, magical, meaningful weekend." I have to agree.

When we arrived home last Sunday, I told Tom that I thought the next gathering should take place in October. His response? "How about May?"

The next Gathering is coming soon. May? June? Kansas? Missouri? South Dakota? What do you think?

love + happy thoughts, 

Robyn